im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
