my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
