Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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