if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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