sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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