I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
