I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
