We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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