yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
