My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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