Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
