Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
