I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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