I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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