If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
