My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
