so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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