My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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