Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I cut my penus on the lid.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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