i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
