She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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