we're blogging at a bar
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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