we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
