AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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