and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Dignity is for republicans.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
