Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
