weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
