I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
