You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
