went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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