That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Come on in and take your pants off
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