If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
