I wish I could teleport
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
