I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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