my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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