I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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