Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
