called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
