Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
