she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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