there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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