Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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