Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
