there was a trapeze. enough said
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize