we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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