And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
