I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i need some magic done to my vagina
Randomize
