I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize