hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
