i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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