She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
