When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize