so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
