Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I have already put on my inside pants.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
