I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Mom said you looked used
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
