hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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