quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i think my mom watched the whole time
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
