I have demons in me.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
she pinky promised me she was 18
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
