Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i will never coherently bang her
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
