We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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