You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Drunk is not a location!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
