i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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