Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
