I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
